Happy Valentine’s Day! I am going to get straight to the point. The title of this blog post makes it very clear that this post is about falling in love with yourself. Valentine’s Day is about revealing or showing your love for your romantic interest. However, while we all look for love outside, we invariably miss the crux of the matter. Unless we feel that love for ourselves, unless we unconditionally love ourselves, unless we feel whole and complete by ourselves, the person who feels the same way about us is never going to walk into our lives.
This Universe is made of energy. Energy has frequency. Same or similar frequencies come together, are attracted to each other. Each of our feelings has a frequency of it’s own. So we’re all surrounded by the frequencies of the way we feel about ourselves. These frequencies attract other frequencies same or similar to them. So if I feel that I am unable to protect myself, I need someone else to do that for me, the person that walks into my life may seem at first like someone who would protect me however, in the long term, will reinforce my belief of being unable to protect myself (i.e. be a threat to me!).
The way the language is coined also makes us believe that we need someone else to make us feel this way or that way or make us complete. The other half, the better half, the significant other … the list goes on. You’re not a half. You are whole. So you don’t need to go looking for the other (or better) half. Make yourself significant in your own eyes so there is not need for the other. Being with someone then becomes a choice. It isn’t a need anymore. So how do I do this? How do I love myself? How do I make myself the significant person in my life? Here are 5 change of behaviours that will support you to fall in love with yourself :
- Say ‘I love you!’ : Yes, just like you would to your romantic interest. This is one of the most difficult yet the most powerful habits to put in place. Profess your love and acceptance for yourself, to yourself, at least once every day.
- Do nice things : Yes, just like you would for your romantic interest. Buy yourself flowers, go on long walks – with yourself, think of what you really like to be, do or have – and experience it. Make it a habit to think of yourself as if you are the love of your life … because you are.
- Be honest and authentic : Yes, just like you want to be with your romantic interest. Acknowledge your true feelings and desires. Show the courage to be your authentic self … starting with yourself. Face and accept your shadows. All anyone wants is to be accepted for who they really are, without judgement. Do that for yourself.
- Be understanding : Yes, just like you would towards your romantic interest. Stop should-ing on yourself. Start thinking and talking to yourself in ‘could’s. Always know that you are doing your best, with the knowledge and understanding you have. Be gentle, be supportive, be kind – to yourself.
- Forgive : Yes, just like you would forgive the mistakes and blunders of your romantic interest. You are human. Humans learn from making mistakes. Holding grudges does nothing good. Let go of all the misgivings about yourself and forgive.
Self-esteem is a huge factor in how easy or difficult the above 5 changes seem to you. If you’re looking for a big boost to your self-esteem, you definitely want to check out the free video series, Magic of Believing in Yourself and the online course of the same title.